Hier stehen ein paar Sachen, die ich geschrieben habe einfach um meine Gefühle zu verarbeiten.
I hope so...
But I love life, do I still?
But I’m definitely not dead,
‘cause I have to take this pain…
I going insane,
Or am I already?
Can’t think, ‘cause my head’s so dead
But not my heart... I wished it was cold
Every time I just forgot the past
You come and start this whole thing again…
Why don’t you think of me, of us?
I can understand it’s hard for you,
But it’s also not easy for me.
You don’t answer the telephone…
You don’t write back…
I can’t understand you, don’t you think of me?
How I feel?
I can’t stand this anymore….
Wanna get out, wanna understand
I’m strong, but I will break,
If you don’t stop,
Do you even think of me?
Cause if you do, am I not a reason to stop?
Tryin’ to be alone,
But it makes me feel like I’m just there as a half…
Like an old virgin,
Sittin’ in her rocking chair,
Thinkin’ about old times,
What would have been if she would have gone other ways,
If she behaved in other ways,
Maybe she wouldn’t be alone now…
It was something so wonderful,
That I never thought that it could hurt me so,
I never thought that it could go to end,
That it would nearly brake me,
Never felt this before,
First I was so high and then so deep
And I figured out, that the higher you get the deeper you can fall,
And I’m afraid to fall again, so I won’t climb up so high again…
It was something I never thought, that it could disappoint and frustrate me,
I thought it was something that would always give me strength when I’m feeling alone.
How could I be so dumb to give my heart away so easily?
Maybe it was just the right thing,
But maybe I could have saved me from this.
It feels like you let me down, but you just told me what I didn’t wanna hear,
Sometimes it feels like you let me down, but when I think it over again I know that it isn’t true, you just told me what I was to dumb to believe.
What I don’t know is, whether you’re sorry for this, sorry for me,
‘cause you know you hurt me, and it doesn’t feel like you care in any way for me anymore,
you loved me once, and 4 days later you don’t even care for me!?
How can this be?